Bringing Down the Haus
How can a Friday night that starts like this…
Baked cod with sweet potato and broccoli
End with this?
Allow me to explain.
Months ago we were out with friends Dan, James, and Vicki. After dinner, we were deciding on a place to go for drinks, and I saw Dan and James look at each other and whisper, “Should we tell them about it? Should we take them? Lara would love it.”
Enter: Haus Bar.
Haus Bar, I soon learned, is a super-elitist, super-secret bar in Bristol, which has obtained a sort of mythical reputation because it is so ridiculously unattainable. It is hidden in an inconspicuous building and is set up so you have to ring a doorbell for entry. Capacity is very limited and they are somehow always packed. I have never been to another place that I can compare this with.
That night, we went to the doorbell of Haus Bar and requested a table for five people. We were promptly rejected. A man literally stuck his head out, said they had no room, and slammed the door in our face.
You might think this would turn me off to ever wanting to go there again.
In fact, it did the opposite: I made it my mission to get into Haus Bar before I left Bristol.
And so it was. To celebrate our good fortune with the INS, it was decided that Friday night would be the night that we finally conquered Haus Bar.
The Scene:
Haus Bar somehow manages to be totally pretentious without actually being glittery or glamorous. I am completely in love with it. It is appropriately named because it is much like sitting in someone’s house; the entire bar is maybe the size of a large living room. They do not do draft beer or wine, only swanky, expensive cocktails.
The Suspects:
Matthew, James, Vicki, Dan...and me!
The Crime:
Oh, it started so innocently. I really only thought we were going out for “a cocktail,” but you know how those nights can turn out.
I ordered a Gin Tai: Beefeater, Dry Orange, lime cordial, almond syrup, and lemon juice.
Round One: Don’t let the ice deceive you. There was alcohol in there.
Still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
But that drink went down much too fast, and I wasn’t confident I had had the full Haus Bar experience.
What better way than a martini to stir up some confidence?
Round Two: Shaken, not stirred.
This was a vodkatini: Absolut, Noilly Prat, and olive.
The hilarious thing about this picture is that, when I was posing for it, I genuinely believed I was making my “sexy face.” Lord help me, how did I ever get Matt to marry me?
I digress.
After two powerful cocktails, I started to catch on to the fact that no one else was thinking we were going out for just one. I was doomed.
I didn’t even choose my drink for Round Three. That was delegated to Dan. Dan is possibly the funniest person I have ever met. He also has excellent taste in cocktails.
Jack Rose: Calvados, lemon juice, Grenadine, and sugar
Happiness abounds.
It was only this morning that I crawled out of bed and looked at the photos to realize…oh God…there was a FOURTH round?!
Round Four: I have no idea what this is.
I vaguely remember the boys ordering a few bottles of beer to compliment their Round Four cocktails.
By the time we left, the boys were bound and determined to eat. Specifically, to eat the kind of food that one would only consider eating when inebriated. In England, that food is often a kebab or “cheesy chips.” But for Matthew & Dan, it meant fried chicken.
On one of my first trips to visit Matthew in the UK, I was scrolling through his address book (as anal, overbearing girlfriends naturally do), and saw “Miss Mille.” It was then that I learned that my then-boyfriend was not hiding a secret affair with a girl named Millie, but a secret affair with fried chicken sandwiches.
Allow me to interpret his expression: “Yeah, I’m going to eat a fried chicken sandwich from this joint and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
He did. I longingly smelled it the whole taxi ride home. My mother always says, “Smelling is free.” Even under the influence of four cocktails, I refused the opportunity to get to know Miss Millie.
The Verdict:
I paid dearly for my crimes when we got home and when I woke up this morning. I barely made it to my hair appointment at 11, and when I did, my fabulous and over-the-top hairdresser remarked: “You look like Lindsay Lohan just out of rehab.”
It was worth it for a night of bringing down the haus.
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Hahaha, love you. For whatever your last drink is, it sure looks extravagant! And the bar does look like an fun place. I’m so so glad you were able to have such a fun night… sometimes the hangover is worth it
Take it easy today!
Sounds like you guys had a fun time at the Haus bar. It’s funny that the worst bars to get into are sometimes nothing what you expect! And you are way stronger than I ever am when drinking, that drunk food run is something I always fall victim too!
Oh my stars. I hope you are feeling okay this morning. I’m not even sure I’d be out of bed, so good for you!!!
Haha, Mama Pea, you would if it was for a hair appointment!
MAJOR fun times!! Hope you feel 100% better
Yay! One of my favorite posts ever! Only b/c those spontaneous nights with friends and drinks are irreplaceable. Post pics of the new ‘do when you’re up for it!
Kaneil
What a freaking good time!!! I love places like that…and congrats for getting in!!
Haha how fun!! You have the prettiest hair! What are your secrets?
I think I can solve the mystery of the 4th cocktail! It was a Pimm’s Royale: Pimm’s No.1, Gin, Champagne, Mint, with Cucumber & Strawberries on a cocktail stick!
It’s all coming back to me now…
Oh that’s practically a health-food drink!
You’re right, Deb! Lots of produce in there
Um, except I ate the cucumber! Kind of like an appetizer for my fried chicken sandwich!
Sounds like u had a great night!!!
Yay!! I love this post! I always thought I was the only one posting about going out, getting hammered and admiring my “skills” when it comes to abstaining from drunken snacking!!
What a great bar. Makes me wonder if there are places that that around me…I may never know.
Hope you’re feeling better, remember to chug water all day.
Hahaha sounds like a fun night was had by all.
Bahaha, I love the elusiveness of “Haus” bar!! It’s also probably for the best you and Miss Millie remain strangers. Greasy food sounds sooooo good the night of, but makes me feel so much worse the next day! I’m all about a peanut butter sandwich and LOTS of water before hitting the hay
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
The best thing about Miss Millies is that it wasn’t too greasy! Just a good ol’ chicken in a bun!
hahahahHBABAHA you are a stud dude a straight and SERIOUS stud! and not to mention a friggn baller getting into that bar and all.
totally worth the morning after feeling if you ask me
I’m glad you conquered the “Haus” before you guys return to the U.S.! Looks like you had a lot of fun.
AHhhhhh I just laughed out loud at the Lindsay Lohan comment. My husband and I keep waiting for the day when we hear that she ODed. By the way, you are gorgeous!
hehe, I love it! Sounds like it was a really fun night! If I was you I’d probably still be sleeping right now.
Sounds like a really fun night! the sexy face is hilarious
what a fun night! haus reminds me of those modern speakeasy bars in new york! you are amazing for making it to your hair appointment and at least you didn’t look like lindsay going INto rehab…now that would be really bad!
haha looks like a very fun night!! Your hairdresser cracks me up! I know what you mean – my stepsister took me to Atlanta for the first time and this bar was trying to get us to come in when we were walking by and she was like “don’t even look, Kelly – we don’t want to go where we’re WANTED.” haha Glad you had a blasty, sorry you had to pay for it. Such is alcohol’s bittersweetness! haha
Hahaha it looks like a good time! And I wish I had your hairdresser!
Oh boy I’ve had a few of “those” nights in my time! And good for you for resisting the munchies. I am toast against chocolate when I’ve had too much to drink. TOAST! I actually read somewhere (no idea where) that fat + sugar helps with too much booze in some biochemical way, so I tell myself I’m just trying to do what’s best for my body. Of course, it’s what’s WORST for my figure!:-D
HEY!!! You never said how you sweet-talked your way into that joint the second time?? Do share!
Yes, Matthew thinks I SHOULD have had some of his sandwich! I probably would have felt better this morning!
…We tracked down an email address and reserved a table
We did that earlier in the week and was told it was the last table available!
LOVE this post!! Secret affair with fried chicken, eh? Nick’s secret affair is with ice cream, and peanut butter…..ugh! Of course, I join him on that sometimes….most times actually…
Good for you for not giving up when the door was slammed in your face! And, it looks like your perseverance was worth it.
this whole post had me laughing out loud. you are so funny.
and i guess part of balancing a healthy lifestyle is letting yourself have a little fun once in a while. and i gotta love you for that.
Hehe, how could the innocent sweet potato, broccoli, and fish turn into this
It’s totally worth it to have some fun sometimes! Loving that sexy look as well!
ahah oh my goodness your hairdresser sounds like a fun person
glad that you enjoyed yourself!!
Sounds like my kind of place as I don’t like beer or wine, but I love fruity cocktails. I would have definitely joined on round 3, and I’m cracking up that Matthew added Miss Millie’s to his address book. Hilarious!
hey lara! I dont think I’ve ever commented before but this is very cool, thought I would share! After reading this I went to look up Haus Bar and I typed in both “Haus bar England” and “Haus bar Bristol” into google (no quotes) and both times your blog was there! First!! in the first search and 4th in the second. Cool eh?
Awesome
Ooh, glad you could make it in before you left! Sounds like you all had quite the time:) Sorry you felt like crap today, but your hair dresser sounds hilarious!!
ahhhh i LOVE nights like this. so worth it in the end, no? sometimes i think i night out like this is exactly what the body needs once in awhile. and a hair appt the next morning? you ARE a trooper! happy weekend dear
Smart marketing decision on that bar’s part. Nothing makes people want to go somewhere more than if it’s exclusive.
That sounds fabulous. And nothing is better than being compared to Lindsay Lohan. That’s how you know you had a night of fun!
It sounds like the night was welllll worth the Lindsay Lohan comment! I’m sure this is one thing you’ll always remember about living abroad!
ahhh what a fun time!!!!
this post cracked me up girl! wish i could go out on the town with you!
Looks like so much fun. Sometimes nights like this are definitely worth it. We have a place here that’s called “our house” – seems to be similar.
hey there beautiful! love that vodkatini pic! you are too cute!
I don’t think i’ve ever been to or even heard of such an elitist bar – crazy!
Sounds like a fun night!
What willpower not to succumb to the fried chicken sandwich!!
Glad you were finally able to bring down the Haus before leaving!
I just got all caught up with your blog – congratulations on the visa! So excited for you miss. That is such fabulous news. I know what a rocky ride it is to get there: super stressful and super uncertain. Blah. But you guys made it!! Hurray!
Also, I have been to that very Boston Tea Party you had lunch at recently…so funny to me still that you live in Bristol. Such a great city.
Haus bar sounds ridiculous and like I would love it. Obnoxious places like that can be so fun – especially if they serve killer cocktails!
Thanks! This week was full of good news, as I’m sure you are aware being an Arsenal fan! I hope you got to see the demolition of Spurs!
Great story and I love nights like those. My hubs and I went out for “a drink” on St Patty’s day one year with some friends and the next morning I looked at our kitchen table covered with green shamrock necklaces, blinking shamrock headbands, etc and my husband told me that I was wearing all of it.
What an awesome post Lara! hope you recovered
OMG NO!!!! what an amazing night! sometimes those are VERY needed. how can you go to haus bar and NOT go crazy?!?! now that would be the real mistake. I am dying over the miss millie phone number. my one food number is for sushi dan. i wish it were for something much classier but at least it’s not papa johns, right?!?!
LL just outta rehab?! ouch.
pimms! those are the WORST. haha. booze hound lara comes out
Ok, I know I’m 2 months late to the party, but I had a few comments!
1. I love the sexy face. Haha! I don’t want to know what my sexy face looks like.
2. Your mom is so spot on with “smelling is free.” I must remember those words of wisdom.
3. If your husband is ever in Louisiana I will bring him to get the best fried chicken he’s ever had. Poor Miss Millie will lose her man.